What's Involved

What of the belief that "affection" or "love" or feelings of that nature do not necessarily belong within the D/s relationship. That D/s is about service and not the more vanilla concepts of "romance". i do believe that we choose our D/s belief system based upon our own needs as our egos dictate, and based upon our upbringings and relationship histories.

Here's my disclaimer statement :) : There's room for much diversity in the lifestyle, not only sexually but in interrelational preferences. No one right way. I can see how background, family of origin, intellectual conceptualizing, personality all fit into how we each see ourselves in service as a person of Dominance or submission.

Would you agree that human beings are wired to have a need for deep interpersonal relationships and that we have been given this gift of the ability to connect with others thru love?.... the greeks had several words to express different types of love.... let's see if i can remember them.... eros is passionate love or romantic love or a love that is "more than" friendship-love. Philia, like "philadelphia" is a friendship love, or fellowship like we have between friends and family. Agape is somewhere inbetween eros and philia.... holding a person in very high regard maybe like a teacher has for his or her students or vice versa, or maybe between mentor and student.... there is a word for the love a parent would have for a child, and lastly, a word for "i love chocolate" type of love or... something that might mean "i have so much fun with you and you make me happy and i just LUV you" :)) like "I (heart) NY".

This does not really address the feelings of lust which isn't love, it's sexual drive.

So, within these descriptions, can we admit that there is room for love in a D/s relationship? How can there not be? I believe humans naturally have these feelings.... as i said, and if a person cannot plug in here, i would assume that there's been some awful emotional damage done.

Does the vanilla concept of romance belong in a D/s relationship? I think it can for some people. I've heard it said that a sub, in order to fully and completely please and serve her master must love him deeply and the master, because he must maintain a certain "separateness" in order to impose the discipline and order that he must, has to be careful to keep those "love blinders" off.

What if there was no love at all between any master or any sub anywhere in the lifestyle? Would we just be little robots? Isn't our capacity to care and love a beautiful thing? As human beings, are we not called to love?

Here's a thought... Some subs may be able to serve fully and completely and deeply by loving the "service" passionately rather than the master. Interesting.

And what about the little subbie who is "in love with the idea or ideal"? Disaster? Gets her collar and then what?