Submissive Being or Doing

i don't like labels but i seem to like definitions. Maybe it's because definitions give information and allow people to plug the knowledge into their existing knowledge base. Labels are just kind of -YIKES- black and white. Why do i have such an issue with labels??

Using labels is helpful for a cook to know the difference between bottles cayenne pepper and cinnamon..... i know that they're important in lots of ways. They give people a common ground upon which to build and interact .......

Maybe the issue is that when people make up their minds about something and slap a label on it and when that something is not a concrete or stable thing but is flowing and alive and interactive and changing, the label has to allow for that with fluidity.

The other day i was thinking along the lines of being a submissive or doing submission. i can't remember it now even tho i remembered it 10 min ago. Another escaped 'ah ha' moment lolol middle age, gotta love it! i know it'll come back to me and then i can finish this thought. The jist of it was... i think... that submission is a state of mind and so many people think submission is about doing stuff or having stuff done to them. What about this..... maybe the "doing stuff" is out of obediance and it becomes submission when the obediance is to the one i've placed my .... self. Still not sure here.

It seems like submission is a need and a craving for me. It builds and builds and builds and then when there is release by submitting, i'm good for a time. oh wow .... now understanding that one of my needs for submission must be to have a strong patriarch.... don't want to use "daddy" because i don't know about that.... but i have craved strong male control always and rarely had it. Someone who keeps me from getting away with stuff .... someone to stop me in my tracks. i felt like i knew this before but now i understand that this is big.

i search and search within my relationships in r/l and it's like i'm asking "won't somebody do this? won't somebody step up and take this from me??" it just hasn't happened.

On another topic, i read excerpts from this book a long time ago and now there is a book. This book i will order today.... The Control Book by Peter Masters.... finally, a book that is about the psychology of D/s and not a how to bdsm book.
link to excerpt: http://www.peter-masters.com/understanding_submission/undersub.html#intro