i sat in my car yesterday afternoon in a library parking lot and cried. i had nothing specifically to cry about but the tears came anyways. i had to stop crying because i had to go back to work. So i brushed my hair and put on lipstick drove back to the office and finished up the week.
Last night i got a lovely email from my boss commending me about how i worked so well and happily amid chaos.
Last night i had to admit to Master that i haven't kept up well with tasks. He was very stern with me which made me wet. So at least i know that crys the slut is still inside me somewhere but wow.... she's hard to reach these days.
This morning in the shower i shaved Master's cunt and guess what i did. i cried. i cupped his pussy in my hand and just cried.
It's only temporary.... in a month or less the work load will be less and the energy will be calmer and i guess i have to learn to be gentle with myself and allow balance in all things. That sounds pretty good, doesn't it? But i think that what i really want is to be made to break, made to let it all out, taken to a place where it is safe enough to fall apart so that i can come back and serve.
It all started… what?…8 years ago now?
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Once again, I am going to try and recreate the post FL ate yesterday. I
have been 24/7 live in with Master for almost a year and a half now. I’ve
been his ...
10 years ago
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6 comments:
you have NO idea how glad i am to hear that it's not just me.
i was beginning to think i was losing my mind because i found myself crying for no reason...or crying over things that i don't normally cry about.
Please know that you're not alone in that boat...and thanks for reassuring me that it's just temporary!
Hugs to you!
slave2JS
It is wonderful your Master can understand. Tax season sucks. Period. Enough said.
You will survive and find strength in your submission. i am so happy you have someone during this time. Hopefully he will create those cleansing tears you need to deal with the mental and physical exhaustion.
Good luck!
~s/nik
it's been a horrible season for sluts, for some reason. ;) i think we're all waiting for spring. but for the tasks issue, it comes and goes - sometimes it's harder to keep up with than others. but i always appreciate that my owner will resolve any errors to his satisfaction - i can only do what i can do. at least i know exactly what the deal is.
Dear slave2js,
Ty for your hugs! i know that the shedding of tears can be a stress release valve and that it's healthy to let it all out when we can. Even so we do tend to beat ourselves up a bit about it sometimes. i also find that when i'm stressed and/or overly tired that i become much more inventive in the self mind fuck category and then i have to cry about that, too.... why do we do these things to ourselves :)).
Dear s/nik,
Ty :) Right now i think i can see a little light out there and that might be the end of the tax tunnel. i do find strength in my submission not only to Master but in the way i relate to others generally. i have a servant heart and i put it to use where needed and that helps. And yes i'd like to be pulled across the town square by my hair and tied to the nearest statue and be made use of there tooooooo.
Dear luna,
He has been so encouraging to me.... reminding me that this too shall pass.... Oh those tasks! i tend to be so hard on myself wanting to do "everything" without error or ommission but of course nobody can do that (so why do i keep trying?). You inspire me to keep it real.
ty for writing, girls
hugs,
crys
Yes it is only temporary, and we all have our stressful times.
hugs to you girl, hang in there.
essence
It does seem to be the season for it. i'm having a hard time connecting to my submission too. i get to see my Master in less than a week now, and i'm really hoping that will help me find my place again.
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