Feeling Him

Until recently i've had limited success with meditation. i've tried focusing on light and on energy, i've tried to cast non-meditative thoughts into the river or stream to have them wash away, i've tried writing those thoughts down on paper so my mind knows i can come back to them later. i've tried using inspirational phrases as mantra. Somehow thoughts of adding to my grocery list or planning my next weekend get away keep popping back in my head.

How encouraging it is to have some success in meditation and i suppose it is because i've been introduced to a method that works and pays dividends but the main reason it works (i think) is because i've been tasked to do it daily. i cannot say this enough..... there is something intangible in the communication between a dominant and submissive and it is as though things scattered just line up. For me it is just a need being met and i am so grateful.

Anyways, i set an alarm to go off after 30 minutes. Sometimes i "come to" early and need to settle myself back down. With practice i am able to let go for the full 30 minutes.

i find that because i am being encouraged in a language that i understand and respond to i am more successful. During meditation following that "get into your head" scene, i found myself using the word "Master" successfully as a mantra -- unprompted by him to do so -- and with each word i again felt his cock enter me and i felt the burning and the chaffing as tho he was really there. i knew i was sitting in a chair but couldn't feel the chair. i knew my hands rested on the arms of the chair but i couldn't feel the fabric. It wasn't a floating feeling because i wasn't flying. It was more a feeling of almost being asleep but not being asleep. Then i heard the faint sound of the alarm, got up and went to bed to dream sweet dreams.