i'm not serving anyone right now, not in the traditional sense of a submissive/slave serving a Dominant and each party understanding the dynamics involved. (How funny to use the word traditional with slave and Dominant :).) It makes me so restless. When i am not being used my radar works overtime running in the background of every thing i do looking for the "fit", the "connection", some little "fix" to quench the needs. i don't even mean sexual, or sensual. Just the feeling of the "fit" if even for a moment.
i've been taught that acceptance is key, and i believe that it is. i accept that i made a choice for what i felt was a higher good for myself and my family when i walked away from a D/s relationship back into my vanilla life. i accept that in doing so i have been blessed and have brought family healing. i accept that i must be careful right now because i'm vulnerable and i accept that i will probably not be satisfied until i can serve in the deep and magnified manner of a slave/sub's service.
i feel as though the D/s relationship is a deeper and magnified version of vanilla relationships both in the sexual and non-sexual sense. Not talking about M/s or BDSM here, but in the purity of serving one another with O/our unique gifts. If we could all be just a little more attentive and a little more willing to go the extra mile, imagine what our world would be like. So, in the meantime, i will continue to find ways to serve within the greater good of family, friends, and profession because i do have something very lovely to give and good things always come back, don't they?
It all started… what?…8 years ago now?
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Once again, I am going to try and recreate the post FL ate yesterday. I
have been 24/7 live in with Master for almost a year and a half now. I’ve
been his ...
10 years ago
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7 comments:
i just wanted to say thank you for adding me to your site and for your comments in mine. i've been reading your site trying to get to know you a little and i'm glad i did. you've given me things to think about. i like what you have to say and wish you the best. i hope you find what you are looking for and the love you deserve!
Take care, don't give up and keep on writing!!!
s bootsie
sweet chrys~
i totally know where you are coming from. it is innate in certain people's nature to serve...can we all be Mother Teresa?? No, but that does not chance that very basic aspect of our nature. i, like bootsie, wish you all the luck in finding one who will allow you to give all the wonderful aspects of yourself in service to them. If you do know read "A View from the Top" , David's link is on O/our page and he has posted a very interesting personality test that was very helpful to me. i come up as an INFP/INFJ...most closely tagged to a "healer" in that particular test.
You know it is my most strongly held belief that we can only find true serenity and contentment(not to be confused with happiness) by embracing our "True Nature".
Thanks for sharing this amazing journey with me!
~nik~
Here is the link to the post i mentioned...he has your link on his page.
http://dsinvegas.blogspot.com/2008/01/know-yourself-express-yourself.html
sorry for the typos..before guess i shoulda hit preview!
nik
i think one of the best things about D/s, when it works, is that it can give you the strength (ironically, i suppose) to stand on your own two feet when it's needed. accepting who you are and where your relationship/sexual needs are makes you that much stronger, even if it's on the back burner. beautiful post - thank you.
i have to 100% duplicate Luna's words verbatim. Hang in there- there's someone out there to blow everyone's minds!. i hope you find him soon :o)
xoxx
crystalline,
I was catching up on your postings and noticed that s/nik has made a reference to my posting about personality profiling. I would be must interested to hear your results if you go through the temperament sorter.
Thanks,
David
Thank you all for your thoughtful posts. Tax season is beginning already and i'm finding that i have a lot less energy for doing things i love to do in order to do the things that i must do :).
i went to David's page and took the test. i've done similar test in the past and find that i most consistently test as an Idealist Healer... the INFP. Sometimes, depending on my mood when i take the test, i may sway towards the INTP.
It's interesting, isn't it? When i read the descriptions, i ask myself "how do these people know so much about me?"
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