Getting Back to the Story

It's time i began writing again even though only a week has passed without an entry. Funny how journaling doesn't seem as important any more now that it isn't an expectation or an act of obediance. And this realization is another affirmation of the "pleasing sub" needing "pleasing work".... and i don't have pleasing work to do any longer. i'll make a note to come back to that thought after i get this story down.....

To continue and maybe finish this little retelling of a memory, when i was in Jr. High, my girl friends and i would sometimes get together for slumber parties. We had one favorite place to gather and that was at an old house and it was pretty large. It was dark with creaking floors and there were several rooms on the second floor that all connected one to the next.

i remember the games of capture, and of masters owning slaves, and of one person being in charge and directing the activities of the other girls.

i wonder why i can't remember more about it to retell (maybe too many years have passed) but i do know that i was always one who wanted to be chosen, to be owned, to be the slave, to be led around by a gruff girl. i wanted to be the very special one.

The parties were a bit sexually charged, and none of us had much idea about sexuality. Some of the girls called them mo parties... A fair amount of teenaged embarassment followed the memories for a while as though it was more important to just forget such things that seemed to us to be childish but were, in fact, very natural.

Point of this story? Submissive drive and yearning began long ago. That is so affirming to me.