Birthdays, holidays, milestones such as these are sometimes a little bit bumpy for some people and i guess i'm one of those people. As much as i love the celebrations there is tension and emotion and, in the past years for me, perhaps too much inward focus. Baaaaad habit, that! When there is too much inward focus there is the pitfall of living without optimism. Another bad habit. i think it's the ego talking tho, that "all about me", and that is what i'm trying to shed so i got over it pretty quickly, thankfully, by remembering that i am here to serve and not to be served... i'm not talking about a hard clit experience here... talking about giving up the ego in order to live in the midst of life rather than looking on from "above". It's about living in the moment and treasuring. And seeing that the others are here on this earth to do the same.
My dad has had one of those illnesses that last for years and gradually, oh so slowly, takes one's life. We are looking at his last weeks or days now and how honored i am to be walking with him on this journey. What a sweet man he is. So peaceful and so gentle.
i had a comment on the last post ... isn't it great to get feedback that causes one to think some more.... about the soul mate coming when we stop working it so hard. Agree. Again it is a matter of letting that piece find us as we embrace what we have going right now. Being observant, watchful, thoughtful, but not controlling. Just submitting.
It all started… what?…8 years ago now?
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Once again, I am going to try and recreate the post FL ate yesterday. I
have been 24/7 live in with Master for almost a year and a half now. I’ve
been his ...
10 years ago
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3 comments:
Sweetie,
you cannot "give up your ego." Being here means you ARE an ego. It's OK. Really. Yes, live in the moment. Love it. Be it. If only for that moment.
My dad passed a few years ago. I stood by his side. I wanted to tell him that it's ok. But it looked as if he was recovering (again). He didn't. After my sister and I left, he passed. Did he know? Did he try to "spare" us? I don't know. I do know that I love him still. He is the sweetest man I have ever known. I hold him within me and love him still.
My sweet katharina and I face many of the same "challenges". Being of similar age as you, our parents are failing.
As an only child my parents are (I am afraid) a burden on my beloved, because she must bear so much helping me as I travel down what's likely my final path with Mom. Don't get me wrong, she would never complain, yet I know there have been nights where she wondered if I'd ever get around to playing with her . . .
We find time still for each other, and I must say that I am proud of my sweet slut for how she grows (and glows) despite all the hurdles life places in our way.
I guess that's my rambling way of saying that my beloved and I understand much of what you're saying (and not saying but alluding), and that we wish you well on the common journeys we all share in one way or another
i hope you are making your way and finding peace in your world.
We hope 2009 brings you good health, peace and happiness.
Merry Christmas to you!
~MJ and nik
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